For you

My dearest Jacob:

Mommy wrote these for you and I wanted to share them with you. I hope you like them.

Love you forever,
Mommy

Jacob

I miss your big blue eyes

Shining brightly as you smile at me.

I miss your laughter, your hugs, your kisses,

but most of all Jacob, I miss you.

I go to bed at night,

and my dreams are filled with happiness

and memories of better days.

I wake up in the morning with the reality,

That you are still gone.

My arms are empty,

my heart isn't whole.

My world is dark and gray.

I am just not complete without you,

and i know that I never will be.

I need you, precious little boy,

you are the sunshine of my life.

You are the reason that my heart still beats,

and my motivation to get through the day.

I miss our cuddle time at night,

and our picnics at the park.

I miss our days when we had not a care in the world,

and all that mattered to us

was the love we have for each other.

Little Jacob, my life isn't the same anymore

and I need you to feel whole again.

It breaks my heart in tiny little pieces

every second that we are apart.

If I could turn back time to make things right,

believe me sweet Jacob, I would.

I wish that life had a rewind button,

and that I could fix the mistakes that I have made

and erase all the hurt I may have caused you.

I miss your sweet "I love you's"

and the way you played with my hair.

I miss the silly songs we used to sing

and I miss all the time we had together.

If I would have known that we'd be apart,

I would have held you a little tighter,

cuddled you a lot longer,

and little Jacob baby,

I would have never let you go.

I'm so sorry...

Baby Boy

Baby boy, to see your face

To feel your touch again

Would be like heaven on earth.

To hear your voice

To smell your skin

Would mean more to me than you will ever know.

Baby boy, I’ve made mistakes.

To know I hurt you kills me inside.

I wish I could make things right.

I love you more than words can possibly describe.

You are my heart, my soul, the beat of my heart.

I am so sorry for all the pain I caused you.

Baby boy, you are my little angel.

The meaning of my life.

My will to go on.

You are my inspiration,

My happiness and joy.

The reason I’m alive.

Baby boy, I hope you know,

How being away from you

Is tearing me up inside.

I need you, sweet baby boy.

I need you here with me.

I never wanted to let you go.

Baby boy, please feel me deep inside.

Know that I am with you wherever you go.

Feel my arms wrapped tightly around you.

Feel me stroke your soft hair

And feel my lips pressed against your cheek.

Know in your heart that I am always there.

Baby boy, I will find a way

To make things right again.

Please know, that I will do whatever it takes.

I am not whole without you here.

I am nothing but an empty shell.

I need you to fix my broken heart.

Baby boy, never forget how much you mean to me.

Always feel my love.

Know in your heart that my love will never end.

Know that I will find a way

To bring you back where you belong

Safely in Mommy’s arms.