My Dearest Jacob

My Dearest Jacob:

I love you more than words can say. I want you to know that I think about you always. There is never a moment that you are not on my mind. I know things are strange right now and you do not understand why mommy is no longer there with you, but someday, my son, you will understand.

I want you to know that you did not do anything wrong. Please baby boy, don't ever blame yourself. You have been mommy's pride and joy since mommy found out she was going to have a baby. You continue to amaze me every single day. I am so proud of the amazing little boy you have become.

I want you to know, sweetheart, that mommy never meant to hurt you when I walked out that door. I honestly thought it would be best for you. See, honey, mommy and daddy used to fight all of the time. I knew that the fighting was not good for you to be around. I know that when you saw mommy and daddy fight, it upset you. I didn't want you to go through that anymore.

Mommy realizes now that she should have tried harder to stop fighting with daddy. Mommy knows she made a mistake. Just know, baby  boy, that mommy never meant to hurt you. I wish that I could go back and change things for the better.

It hurts mommy to know that she is living so far away from you. Mommy cries a lot because she cannot hold her little boy like she used to. My sweet Jacob, I want you to know I will never stop loving you. You will always be my baby boy and one day, mommy will come back.

It might take a while baby, but mommy will move back. And of course, my love, I will come visit whenever I can. I miss you more than words can ever say and I just want you to know that you are always in my heart.


Love you forever,
Mommy