Sweet Baby Boy...

My Dearest Jacob:

 

Today it snowed where mommy is right now. I woke up and saw the snow falling and I immediately thought of you. I imagined the three of us, you, daddy, and mommy, running around and playing in the snow. Catching snowflakes on our tongues, making snow angels, and just smiling and laughing. What fun that would have been! The snow ended up turning into rain and there's no snow left on the ground, but it still would have been fun to play in the snow while it was falling earlier.

Has mommy told you lately how amazing you are? You are going to be starting pre-k in August. What a big boy you are! It breaks mommy's heart to know she won't be there to see you off on your first day of school. Please baby boy, know that I want to be there more than anything in this world. I want to be there to share those special moments with you. I want to be there to tell you and show you just how proud of you I am. It makes mommy's heart really sad that she is missing out on your life like this. I want to be there, Jacob. I want to be there so bad.

I miss going outside with you and playing on the big hill behind the apartment. We used to have so much fun sword fighting with sticks and playing cowboys. I miss taking you to the "sand park" and watching you make sand angels. You used to get so much sand in your hair. It was so funny. Mommy didn't mind though. That just meant you'd get extra time to play in the bath when we got home! I miss cuddling with you in the bed reading you story after story because you kept picking them out. Mommy loved that time with you and would give anything to be able to do that with you again. Please know, baby boy, that you and mommy will get those special times together again. It might take a little while, but we will get those.

Hold your memories of us together close to your heart. Whenever you feel lonely or sad, know that mommy loves you! Mommy has always loved you and mommy always will. You are mommy's shining star. Mommy's pride and joy! You fill mommy with so much happiness. I just want you to know that.

Well baby boy, I am looking forward to talking to you on the phone tonight. I know you don't really like talking on the phone much, but even getting to hear you say you love me is enough to make mommy's heart leap with joy.

I love you forever and always,
Mommy